Squirrels

Veruca Salt: Daddy, I want a squirrel. Get me one of those squirrels, I want one!

Mr. Salt: Veruca dear, you have many marvelous pets.

Veruca Salt: All I've got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle, and a silly old hamster! I WANT a SQUIRREL!

Mr. Salt: All right, pet. Daddy'll get you a squirrel just as soon as he possibly can.

Veruca Salt: But I don't want any old squirrel! I want a *trained* squirrel!

Mr. Salt: [wearily] Very well. Mr. Wonka? How much do you want for one of these squirrels? Name your price.

Willy Wonka: Oh they're not for sale. She can't have one.

Veruca Salt: Daddy!

Willy Wonka: [imitating Mr. Salt] I'm sorry, darling. Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.

From Charlie and The Chocolate Factory 2005

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Veruca would be welcome to the pesky squirrels in my yard. They aren't exactly trained. It was more that they had me trained. For a while any way.

I love having a bird feeder in my front yard. The front window of my home is large and is perfect for watching the birds while they feed. That is when the birds could get to the feeder. I had a bird feeder on a Shepard's hook, placed near my red bud tree. The tree is beautiful in the spring when the purple buds bloom. The feeder became more a squirrel feeder than bird feeder. I would fill the feeder up in the morning and it would be empty by early evening. I knew that the squirrels were eating the bird seed. I would look out the window toward the bird feeder and there would be a squirrel perched on the feeder eating to its little hearts content. I would go outside to chase her away. The look she would give me could have been bone chilling if it were coming from a larger animal. You might be wondering how I knew it was a female. That will reveal its self in time.

I became frustrated with buying bird seed and having it eaten up in no time at all. Not buying the bird seed was not an option for me. There were times the birds were actually able to get to the feeder. The solution seemed to be a bird feeder that is suction cupped to the front window. Excellent! I thought now the squirrels will not be able to get the bird seed and you know what? I was right! The little buggers cannot get to the bird seed on the window. That does not mean they didn't try.

One afternoon I had not opened the living room curtains yet trying to keep the sun from heating the room up. I am the only one home at the time. Sitting on the sofa, playing a word game on my lap top when I hear a noise at the front window. It sounds as if someone or something is trying to cut the screen. I peek out of the curtains and there she is, clinging to the window screen with her tiny squirrel paws. She is attempting to climb the screen to get to the bird feeder attached to the window. It is obvious that she is a she, possibly a recent momma. Only one problem, the screen only goes up about 26 inches. There is another 30 inches of window to get to the feeder. This did not stop her. She would climb to the top of the screen and try to jump to the feeder. That didn't work. She attempted this feat numerous times with no success. It was funny to watch. The window feeder is still in place, but larger birds, like cardinals, won't perch on the feeder. I love when red birds come into my yard. So what to do next?

A couple we know had purchased a "squirrel proof" feeder. My first thoughts were, yeah right, squirrel proof. Well I decided that the 20 bucks for the feeder would be well spent if it worked and then it was only 20 bucks if it didn't. I've lost 20 bucks playing Texas Hold'em, I could take it. My husband and I, well actually my husband moved the Shepard's hook to the center of the yard. Together we filled the feeder. It takes more than one pair of hands to deal with it. The feeder is spring loaded. The way it works is if anything heavier than a bird perches on it the spring causes the wire cage to shut off the feeder holes. So we are set. Feeder is full, set on the hook. Now I wait for the birds.

Were birds the first visitors? Nope! It was the squirrels. My first thought was well she can't get to the feeder since the Shepard's hook is in the center of the yard. How naive I am at times! She climbed that pole like she owned it! She jumped onto the feeder, her weight caused it to close off. I was so excited! It was going to to work!! It was so much fun to watch her trying to figure how to get into the feeder. She tried so many times and the feeder foiled her each time!

So now the squirrels seem content with taking what bird seed they can from the ground and I get to enjoy watching the birds. It was a good 20 dollars spent.